VforVanity

It’s no surprise that people of all ages are having a hard time functioning right now. Given the state of the world, with all of the wars and hate, it’s understandable. Social media reflects the energy of mainstream media, making it impossible to avoid the nonsense and propaganda. To make matters worse, we are subjected not only to the controlled narratives of governments but also to the opinions of everyone who believes that, while they know nothing about anything, they also know everything about everything. How many times in a day do we read comments from people who have never worked in an industry discussing what ‘should’ happen? Doctors ‘should’ do this… paramedics ‘should’ do that… managers in this company ‘should’ be doing something different. Nothing is ever black and white, and everyone has policies and procedures to follow. People seem to believe they are more important than others and deserve whatever they think they desire, with no consideration for the impact that may have on someone else.

I don’t know about you, but this has really gotten to me lately. I feel overwhelmed, like I’m drowning, surrounded by this chaos. By people who would read this and agree while simultaneously fitting the description above. Are some not aware of themselves, or do they know but try to hide it?

We live in an honesty-averse society where the behavior might not be okay, but bringing it up is the real problem.

There are those who are blatant about it online, which can sometimes be hard to be around, but at least they are honest. The issue here is the influence they might have. It’s the ones who talk openly about others being selfish and hateful while they themselves are being selfish and hateful. Those who speak of others they perceive as entitled while being more entitled themselves—those are the ones I find more frightening. We all grew up watching the same Disney films, where there is a good guy and a bad guy. Do people believe themselves to be the good guy without making an effort to be one? Do they even try? Or are they unable to assess what is good and what is not? Why are there different rules for them?

I have been MIA for a while, with no real online presence at all, mostly due to witnessing injustice and absolution. Those responsible for the wrongdoing move on with their lives, while those on the receiving end are left picking up the pieces for years. This, along with a lack of accountability—no expectation for accountability—results in no lessons learned, no growth, just moving on. I always believed that when you go through something challenging, you gain strength and become a better person, developing skills that make future experiences easier, and that it is possible to turn it all in your favor. While I still believe this, I have to be honest: I have a hard time connecting with that belief lately. This has impacted my connection to everything, and it’s time to change that.

A few years ago, I lost my job, not due to my conduct or not doing my job well, but because I was injured through no fault of my own. I eventually got my job back once legal action was involved, but it doesn’t feel the same. Brushing it under the carpet and pretending it didn’t happen doesn’t work for me. No apology, no compensation—just ‘quickly get back to work and don’t talk about it’—while I still suffer the effects of their terrible decisions and their inability to do their jobs well. Ordinarily, I would move on from this and chalk it up to experience. This time has been different. I still struggle to find motivation for anything, and I don’t find joy in the same way. This needs to change. As much as many people feel it is up to others to fix us, we have to do the work ourselves, and it’s time I took responsibility for myself and started to make changes.

From today, I plan to take back control of my mindset and my life. I want to become more connected to myself, my family, my life, and you. I don’t expect this to be an easy journey, but I do believe it is a necessary one. If you feel the same, please get in touch, and we can navigate this together. I aim to post regularly about this journey and re-engage with social media. We need a like-minded community to survive the chaos around us. I hope to be completely present for myself and for you.

Actionable Steps:

1. Start today: make a plan. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Meet a friend and talk to them about it. Be honest, and be kind to yourself.

2. Think of one thing you have been putting off. Just one; it doesn’t have to be a big thing. And start it.

3. Spend time in nature. Even if it’s just grabbing a coffee and going to a park. Fresh air and Mother Nature are incredibly healing.

These may not sound like big deals, but they are. The moment you make a decision to show up for yourself, everything changes. Show up for yourself every day from now on.

I have learned from a new struggle that the discomfort of feeling overwhelmed and powerless isn’t for me. I have learned from previous experiences that I am strong enough and capable enough to make the changes I need. This is where I find my motivation. You are capable too.

Speaking with a friend recently, she told me how the advice I gave her to start small and with no pressure helped her move on from a difficult time where she felt she was going to lose everything. She explained that even the smallest action allows one to feel more in control and like the spiraling doesn’t need to continue.

Comment or email for accountability and to find a community. Let us know how it’s going and if we can help. Do you have something you’ve not quite managed to recover from? Do you have pent-up emotions you don’t know how to manage? Are things just a little out of sorts for you? You’re not alone, and being honest with yourself is the first step.

If you are interested in further reading to help motivate you, I recommend:

– Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

– Let Them Go by Mel Robbins