VforVanity

It is hard to make decisions and be present when you are numb to everything around you. Sometimes, life creates these voids, and you find yourself lost in the center with no view of the sides, never mind the outside. While there are techniques to adopt that can help with this, I feel we talk a lot about them without ever acknowledging that they aren’t magic; they don’t change the situation immediately. I talk and write a lot about mental health techniques that can change your mindset and help make life easier, too, but I think it is important to recognise that sometimes it’s a chemical or trauma response that takes time. Sometimes you have to ride it out. I feel this is important to shine a light on because many of us will experience these times. I am not suggesting that meditation and yoga won’t work; they are still valuable ways to support your mental state and take care of the you that you are in that moment, but let’s not pretend that they will fix everything immediately. There is a difference between a bumpy bit in life and a crash. It is okay to take time to heal and be ready to walk again after a crash.

I have been experiencing this recently. Usually, I pride myself on my ability to dust myself off and move on after a turbulent time, but this most recent challenge has hit me hard. Probably because it didn’t just affect me; it made things challenging for my husband and daughter, too. I also felt like I had no control to move on with. My life was in the hands of people I wouldn’t give a minute to, never mind my life. Unfortunately, there will be times like this in everyone’s lives. The advice is usually to pick yourself up and move on, which is great if you can, or to practice self-care or talk about it. All of these are great, but sometimes you just need to ride it out. Sometimes, you need to heal. For some reason, society allows us this space for physical injuries but not for mental or emotional injuries. Take the time. Allow it to do what it needs to do. Allow yourself the grace and patience you deserve. You don’t NEED to be productive; you don’t NEED to be there for everyone all the time, and you don’t NEED to be ready to fight right away. The best self-treatment is time. Tell your family, friends, and coworkers that you are self-medicating with time, and they need to live with that.

I am learning to embrace difficulty because time is something I have never allowed myself until I had no choice. If you ask for patience, the universe (or whatever that is for you) will give you reasons to be patient. If you ask for change, you will be given no option but to change. Embrace these times because they are always a lesson, and there is always growth. I am working on feeling again—being less numb and allowing myself to be mad, upset, happy…anything that comes up. I heal by spending time with my family and animals, by cooking healthy meals for my family, and by making my house a home. I heal by being creative and taking time to relax. I heal by allowing for others and myself. How do you heal?